Peanut Butter Crackers

 I recently saw a commercial for these...

Which took me back to a traumatizing experience I had last year at work...

It all started with a parent donating a box of cheesy, peanut butter crackers to the class for students who forgot to bring a snack {or on this particular day...a teacher with an urge to munch--anyone who knows me well knows that I'm a "grazer"-- a nickname lovingly given to me by my mother.}

Back to the story. I was at my desk correcting papers while my students were at recess when I remembered the crackers were in my bottom desk drawer. I pulled one of the little packages out of the drawer, opened it, and began to graze. With one cracker devoured {and another in my hand} I noticed something strange about the OTHER end of the package. It appeared to be...open? A closer look revealed that the other end of the package was indeed open. I immediately knew that it wasn't a packaging malfunction because there were TEETH MARKS! Not the teeth marks from a cute little second grader...these were without a doubt the teeth marks from a MOUSE!!! As you can imagine I freaked out. Threw the crackers as far away from me as I could get them and did what most adults would do--called my mom. She reassured me that the "mouse germs" could not have reached the sealed side I was eating from {liar!} and that I would be just fine. I proceeded to rinse my mouth with water a few..hundred times and then contacted the custodian. She came and cleaned out the drawer and the one above--throughout which the mouse had scattered lovely little gifts. As a result, the entire left side of my desk remained vacant for the remainder of the year.

AND I have yet to eat peanut butter crackers and doubt that I EVER come close to one again. Thanks a lot Mr. Mouse...I kinda liked those.